• RB Moreno Injured RB Moreno Injured Expected to be out at least a month. Fins resign RB Daniel Thomas
  • Fins rout Pats in 2nd half 33-20 Fins rout Pats in 2nd half 33-20 Miami scored 23 unanswered points in the 2nd half to beat Pats
  • Fins finish preseason with a win Fins finish preseason with a win The Fins scored two TDs in the 4th quarter to beat the Rams 14-13
  • Marino to join front office Marino to join front office Miami has hired Marino as a special adviser to Dolphins owner Stephen Ross and CEO Tom Garfinkel

     

Wanted: Offensive Linemen

Do people say “You make a better door than a window?”
Do you always seem to be in everybody’s way?
Are you FAT?!

If so, the Miami Dolphins want YOU!!!!

As most fans can attest to, the Miami Dolphins offensive line has been BAD! HISTORICALLY BAD!

If you are strong enough to keep a 300lb man from throwing you aside like a rag doll OR
fat enough that, if you fall on the ground, people will trip over your FAT ASS then you may have a future with the Miami Dolphins!

Job Requirements:

–Must look good in pastel blue
–Be able to stop other fat guys from getting 5 yards upfield in less than 3 seconds.
–Able to take the ‘offensive’ out of “Offensive Line”
–Charasmatic enough to convince management, which is stubborn or stupid enough to not realize, that workplace change is a GOOD thing

Average work week: 4 hours
Compensation: small since the Dolphins don’t place too much importance on having high quality candidates.

Those wishing to apply should contact Joe Philbin or Mike Sherman c/o Dolphins HQ.Resumenot needed since past failures have little impact on your future employment.

*******Inspired bythe Cleveland Browns fan that posted a Craigslistadfor a QB, I bring you a Miami Job Opening***********

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
Wanted: Offensive Linemen, 4.2 out of 5 based on 5 ratings
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