- GM Jeff Ireland Resigns Dolphins announce that GM Jeff Ireland mutually agrees to part with Miami
- OC Mike Sherman fired The Dolphins terminated OC Mike Sherman
- No playoffs - 5 years and counting The Jets ended Miami's playoff hopes by beating them 20-7
- Fins end losing streak to Pats Dolphins holds on to beat the Pats 24-20 in Miami
Wanted: Offensive Linemen
Do people say “You make a better door than a window?”
Do you always seem to be in everybody’s way?
Are you FAT?!
If so, the Miami Dolphins want YOU!!!!
As most fans can attest to, the Miami Dolphins offensive line has been BAD! HISTORICALLY BAD!
If you are strong enough to keep a 300lb man from throwing you aside like a rag doll OR
fat enough that, if you fall on the ground, people will trip over your FAT ASS then you may have a future with the Miami Dolphins!
–Must look good in pastel blue
–Be able to stop other fat guys from getting 5 yards upfield in less than 3 seconds.
–Able to take the ‘offensive’ out of “Offensive Line”
–Charasmatic enough to convince management, which is stubborn or stupid enough to not realize, that workplace change is a GOOD thing
Average work week: 4 hours
Compensation: small since the Dolphins don’t place too much importance on having high quality candidates.
Those wishing to apply should contact Joe Philbin or Mike Sherman c/o Dolphins HQ.Resumenot needed since past failures have little impact on your future employment.
*******Inspired bythe Cleveland Browns fan that posted a Craigslistadfor a QB, I bring you a Miami Job Opening***********
Latest posts by Matthew Stevens (see all)
- Issue #2: Putting the “Offensive” in Offensive Line - January 9, 2014
- Issue #1: Leadership? “We don’t need no stinkin’ LEADERSHIP?!” - December 29, 2013
- So……NOW WHAT?! - December 29, 2013